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30 December 2017

What Happened to Blogmas and Why 2017 Sucked A Bit

This is a hard post for me, and very different from what you'll usually find here. And it's only going to be a little bit about the suckiness, because the parts that didn't suck were AMAZING.

I started 2017 with Expectations. I had such plans, such resolutions. You can see a few of them here. And I was mostly doing great before life got in the way. I feel like I've never blogged better, never been more active in the community, never been more proud of myself. I have done some things this year which I am incredibly proud of.

I explored new places, tried new things. I pushed myself harder than ever before. I stayed in a medieval gatehouse, I explored a private hunting estate, I visit locations from books I have loved. I went to London and met amazing people (and made a bit of a fool of myself but hey ho).

Hulne Abbey, Alnwick
But then... Life. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and my life was turned upside down and is now constantly changing in a million little ways. I am having to rediscover a body I thought I knew, my limitations are changing, every day I seem to find another thing I cannot do.

Which kind of brings me to Blogmas. I started treatment and then it hit me that my diagnosis is real and that I will never get better - I can only hope to stay as well as I am for as long as possible before relapsing. This treatment is an immunomodulator so it suppresses part of my immune system, lowering my white cell count. And I seem to be picking up every cough, cold and infection going. One week into Blogmas I got flu and tonsillitis at once, and I'm still recovering now. Honestly it was too much and I had to hit pause, so I just stopped the majority of my posts going out. Maybe I'll use them in future.

But it's not all doom and gloom. It's something I have to live with and get used to, and I won't let it bring me down any longer. I just have to get to know myself again, rediscover my normal, and make my limitations work for me.

And some parts of 2017 have been awesome. Some parts have been especially amazing.

Five Things That Brightened 2017

The Honeyz
Honestly, these girls have been my rock. They are amazing and they are there when I need them. They listen to me bitch and moan and feel sorry for myself, but they never tell me to shut up and put up (I probably deserve it a lot). Also they have the best bookish recommendations. Go and give Aoife, Kelly, Rachel, and Steph some love because they deserve it.

I promised myself that I'd do a full weekend at YALC and I did. I promised myself that I would talk to people, and I did. Just in doing that I've come so far from what I used to be like. I got to meet up with other bookworms and talk to authors and it was so lovely. Also I'm not going to lie, hearing "You're Cora from Twitter" ten times a day was a huge ego boost.

Following Ophelia
From the moment I picked up Follwing Ophelia by Sophia Bennett I was inspired. It led to some very silly image edits that you may have seen floating around. I don't think I've ever had so much fun sharing my love for a book, and it helped me rediscover my love for art and find a sanctuary in the Laing Art Gallery.

I Got On A Blogger List
Actually, I got on two. Until this year, constant rejections were making me feel like I'd never be good enough and what was the point and all that jazz. But Gollancz are amazeballs, and I've been blown away by the books I've read from them. I know it's silly and selfish and needy, but I needed the validation.

The Wider Blogosphere
I really branched out this year in what I was reading when it came to blogs, and it's been so inspiring. It's helped me not be afraid to write posts like this, to vary my content, to free myself from the tiny niche I'd cornered myself in. I love when I'm out and about and I see some street art and think of Envy at Lost In Translation, or I try new tea and think of Kimberly at Tea Is A Wish Your Heart Makes.

What has your 2017 been like?

1 comment:

  1. I'm really sorry to hear about your diagnosis Cora, and I'm sending lots of love. I'm glad you had some fabulous things to help you through 2017, I hope 2018 is wonderful for you 💜
    Amy x


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